Freed from Porn

Josiah’s Story

I have battled with pornography for more than half of my life. I was first exposed when I was 10 years old and was pretty consistent for many years. From that time, porn shaped a number of decisions and behaviors, some that did not affect much and others that were catastrophic to relationships I had with others. When I first got involved with porn, I did not yet realize what I was viewing or the impact it would have on my life moving forward.

When I truly became saved at 13, I dove deep into scripture and began to realize the gravity of what I was viewing. I knew that porn was not the Lord's will for me, in fact, I was to run the opposite direction. From that moment on, I ran, and I ran hard. Though, more often that not, it seemed that I just couldn't run fast enough. I was trapped just like I was at 10 years old, this time, I knew it was wrong and just couldn't shake it. At 15 I met my first girlfriend who was sweet but certainly not the perfect picture of a godly woman. Naturally, as a hormonal teenage boy with a history of sexual sin, running away from this did not work well for me. For a while I was trapped there too, I fully knew that I was in direct opposition to where the Lord was calling me, but I couldn't shake this either. Simultaneously, I had gotten involved with a college ministry where I led student discipleship weekends. While I was tormented on the inside, I did well to present myself as a well-read, mature man of God.

Shortly before I turned 18, the ungodly activities of my then girlfriend and I reached a peak, then quickly were brought to an end. "Finally free!" I thought, yet that still seemed to not be the case. I thought that once I got free from her, I could truly be the man I knew God wanted me to be, the man that could be a Godly husband and father. Instead, I went into a tailspin and grasped at everything I could to fill the gap she left, except for the only thing that actually could have. It was at this time I was introduced to The Dwelling and God began to redeem and repair all the damage done by the enemy's rampage in my life.

I spent time alone with the Father and began to experience Him in ways I never had before. Shortly thereafter, I met the woman who would one day become my wife. With the newly transformed relationship I had with the Father and love of my now wife, everything the enemy tried to take away the Lord redeemed, a magnificent declaration of the love and salvation He promised me.

I thought I could never escape and that I would be trapped forever, destined to be a broken record. I am writing this because the Lord miraculously set me free and I am tired of hiding my past. He has brought me hope, He has brought me victory, and He has brought me peace.