Staying Connected During Deployment

My husband deployed back in September and although it isn't our first military separation, as his first combat tour since we have been married, it is still new territory to me. To add to the anxiety that comes along with combat tours, this assignment was a last minute detour from the operational deployment to Europe we had mentally prepared for in the months prior. This did not pair well with my control freak nature or anxiety. At the same time, I walked away from a job and a decent income to be able to be present for my children and focus on them throughout this deployment. I have always worked and made "my" own money so this was also very difficult for me.

I originally joined connect groups because I don't really know anyone here due to not living on base and working too much to really get out and meet people my first year living here. I made one good friend, and that family moved a month before my husband left. I was hoping to connect with others, but found so much more. 

I signed up for “Journey to Spice Mountain” and “Becoming A Kingdom Leader” groups without really knowing what they were all about. But hey, I like to cook and who wouldn't want to be a better, more Christ-driven leader? I accidentally ended up in “Freedom,” which I didn't sign up for because I honestly thought Freedom was reserved for people with addiction, marital problems, severe depression, financial issues and I certainly didn't have any of that. But I was invited by friends during lunch and thought, "I'll just go to a meeting or two. What do I have to lose?" It turns out, I had anxiety, and control issues, and unforgiveness to lose.

During “Journey to Spice Mountain,” we cooked and ate a lot of good food with good fellowship, but more importantly, I gained a clear understanding of who God actually is in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, more so than ever before in my life. Somehow, it just clicked how much He loves me and wants me to have abundant life, but I need to abide in him to truly see His goodness.

“Becoming A Kingdom Leader” taught me how to apply the knowledge I was gaining to my daily life and create a ripple affect to those around me, and I looked forward to that time on Wednesday nights. I once believed I could never be a leader for His kingdom because doesn't that require perfect people? Through my Wednesday night, online connect group, I learned that even a sinner like me could be used in His kingdom and that it is more than being a leader in church, but that I have an opportunity in every day leadership roles, from being a parent to a boss, of glorifying God and reaching others through Him and the responsibility that comes along with it.

Then, there was “Freedom” that literally is still changing my life every single day. Freedom made me see forgiveness I didn't even know I was denying. It exposed the control issue I didn't fully realize I had and WHY I couldn't relinquish that control...the events in my life that made it too hard for me to trust anything and anyone, even God. That very first meeting destroyed me and I cried the whole way home. As painful as some of the things revealed were, I wanted more. I wanted to continue to be shown everything that was separating me from God and watch him move in every single one of those areas of my life. In the beginning of Freedom, we were told that this group ends with the Freedom Conference, but it didn't for me. There are still days that anxiety creeps up on me, but thanks to Freedom, it doesn't cripple me anymore. There are days I still try to have a tight grip on things, but I can now quickly say "your way, not mine" and 100% trust that the outcome will be for my good. Satan can no longer scare me or devalue me with his lies or how he likes to bring up my past to remind me of how unworthy I am. There is no more defeat. I am FREE. 

In each of my groups, people would share things, and I would pray for each of them. I believe in the power of prayer and have found so much peace in knowing that all of these people have covered my little family in prayer as well. At The Dwelling, we are a wonderful family who prays for each other anyway, but these connect groups are on a more intimate level as you get to truly know others' stories. These groups have been life changing for me, truly. And I know this peace I have during this journey is because of my groups and my people. Connect groups have really helped me to build a better relationship with God, and therefore, a better me. - Amanda